I stumbled upon this article from wiltoday.com that discussed when the things of life are not well with our souls, I began to read and saw my own story within the article. Life is hard. Bad things happen, people leave, these are hard, hard, hard things to grasp as a young Christian. If this great big God who is almighty and powerful is good then why is my life falling apart? Why are people leaving? Isn’t His purpose to give me hope & a future? This man calls me beloved yet has allowed all of these things to happen to me? How is that at all good? That’s what my heavy-burdened mind was screaming into my soul. That is what I believed truth to be. God was like everyone else, fickle and only for me when I’m present but against me in my absence.
How wrong was I? Looking back, I see broken pieces of a little girl that were scattered and stepped on, forgotten and abused; all alone. I had fallen victim to Satan’s antics and truly believed I was defeated and alone, a bother to all, unwanted, and unloved. It wasn’t well with my soul. My soul was tormented and dark, I separated myself from people who loved me and drew myself into an isolated hole, destined to never escape. But God. He was for me, He saw my tears and His heart broke for his prodigal daughter who couldn’t see her worth. Little did I know, God fought for me. He was picking up the pieces that were broken, making something beautiful from the ashes of my past hurt. I didn’t know this but He was going to use everything I went through, every negative word spoken to me, every tear I shed only to propel me into the mission he had for me on his earth. I didn’t see this hope nor would I see this hope until my freshman year and truly believe it for myself until my junior year.
I finally understood that life isn’t always happy and wonderful, but it is still beautiful and purposeful and God is still good through it all. I read this article with tears streaming down my face only to be comforted by security found in Jesus alone. I’ll link the article down below but in summary, the author discussed it’s easy to talk about the goodness of God when life seems to be for us, but when tragedy strikes we’re merely just singing “it is well” out of habit and routine instead of understanding and declaring “it is well” even when it’s not. It’s hard sometimes, my feelings are so fleeting and life can be well at the time but it doesn’t feel well with my soul. But as I learn more and more about God it is well with my soul even if life isn’t going as planned- these feelings are anchored truth; unshakable, life-giving.
Knowing that, I wanted a permanent reminder of this truth that life happens and it’s hard sometimes but Jesus will always be good and His promises are yes & amen because He is constant and true, so I got it is well tattoed on my right wrist written in my handwriting. This is my story, who I am, where my identity is found. It will get better. And if not on this side of Heaven then it will be the next. Jesus hears you, you my friend are heard. He loves you & He is for you. This comfort has been the prayer of my heart: to forever sing it is well because through Jesus, I have the victory for He has already overcome.
Here’s the link to the article!